O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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