bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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