Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
