i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
