nut hugger
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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