Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
