I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
