so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Welp...herpes.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
