Jerry, you need to find god
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
