I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
