In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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