Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
