Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
