Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
