yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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