Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm like, not good at living.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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