He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
