Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
