No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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