I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
