My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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