remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
