I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
