i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
