The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
