We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
soo... how was my night?
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