I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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