Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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