No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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