About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
