Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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