I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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