you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
