I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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