The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
