Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
