Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
