The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
