there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
