ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
