I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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