420 ftw
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
