"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
