He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
