i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
