I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
