speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
