I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
