can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
