Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
