But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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